what to do and think on a cloudy day??

The sun is not out today it is not even peeking through the clouds. In a way it is good, because there is no sun hitting you with their rays or raining that makes you unable to do things outdoors, but it is just cloudy and windy, but it is wind that is just right that gives a nice breezy that strokes your hair. I had to do grocery this morning and it was nice being outside with the calm wind blowing through my hair. I think though this a day for me to stay indoors and snuggle in my bed and watch movies. My kiddos didn't have school today and they are having fun in their own little planet. I just wish my husband was here with us, but I understand he has to earn the money for the house and it is a sacrifice we have to understand, because he is doing all this for us and the benefit of our family. I guess this weather makes you have those reflection days where you get to look a your life and see where is at, where is heading, changes you want to make if any, the good things that you have that at times we take for granted. I am beyond from being a perfect anything, but I need to be more appreciative of what life has given me. What I have is a gift my family, my friends, and the chance that I am able to enjoy what I have. I truly do love everybody in my life, and I don't say it much to those people, but I do love them dearly that have brought so much in my life. Time passes so fast that it doesn't give us time to catch our breath, so that is why everything we take we have to enjoy it and not overanalyze it to death. We are running all the time and we have not one second or even a moment to look at the beauty that we look at everyday. Here where I live I see the leaves change color with the season changes right now the leaves are those beautiful reds, orange, yellow. How nature is that they start to understand when the change is coming and go with it.. I guess this blog is just me babbling, because I am indoors and I thought I might write some lines in my blog.

Overcoming fear and taking my own advices

So many things have changed in this couple of years some for the good and others let just put it as a learning block, because they weren't bad they were there just to teach you a lesson. Those lessons were just to hard to handle, because I had to do stuff that I thought I would never do, which is withdraw from  a friendship that longer was working from neither that person or myself. While our paths intertwined at one point in our lives little by little it started to not as much.. I hold no anger, no grudge, and I wish her the best in this world. I didn't know how much our lives were intertwined when I saw the effects it had later, because I enjoyed the dance part of it, the performing.. I just need to find a way to do dance and enjoy it. I also enjoyed burlesque, but I truly don't know which way to approach it, because I hate when people have a preconceived notion of what type of person you are, and truly just want to perform not deal with drama. I am not catty and if you are going to say something say it right in front of me with proof in your hand, because if not just keep your mouth shut. I am getting tired of people judging me from other people's opinion about me, just get to know me and from that point you will get to decide if you like me or you don't. Regardless, I still want to perform but I am kind of stuck and a little fearful, but things do not come to you. I just have to figure out a way of doing something about it. I have been in kind of going through the motions, because of being busy everyday doing something for myself and enjoying to absolutely doing nothing. I am so good at giving advice, but I not good at following my own advice, and I feel at times like such hypocrite, because you have to be strong, but where am I being strong? I am letting my fears control me again, and I don't want to get in that place where I become a hermit. I do have amazing friends around me that truly know me and love me and let me know when I am full of it.. Like I said to a friend I don't like to be feathered, like to be told the truth right in front of my face. I will conquer this fears and get back to the person I was becoming, before I had an emotional and disappointing point in my life. I will get out of this and I will find something that will get in the positive route I was on and figure out the way on keeping on that direction and keeping myself on that road, I don't want to be in this road of insecurity and fear.. I know I can do I just have to put myself out there, and know that I have the ability to do it, since I did it once I can do it again. Again, I want to thank those amazing ladies that been my friends. Ladies let me know when I am being a pill, because I far beyond from being perfect.. Right now it is blah blah blah.... I know it sounds like I am ranting, but I will conquer.. Fear I will take you on again..