Lost

I had some many stuff happen in my life that now I am super lost.. All the goals I had set myself I have not achieved, because I feel like I don't know what do with myself. I have gain and lost weight, pretty much you can call me yoyo girl, cause i there, but I just automatically gave up and I have gain more than I have in the past, and I feel unhappy with that, but at the same time I've just given up all together is that all the things that interest me before it doesn't.. It is like everyone has moved on, but I still stuck in the box, and there was an illusion that I was out of the box, but again I'm back in the box, and it give me at a little getaway from the box but it was temporary. I just want to know would I be able to get really get out of the box and I achieve that happiness of self-fulfilment. I want to be a productive person not just be here in this box all by myself, but every time I try to do it. It hurts to much physically and mentally. I just needed to vent out some my internal frustrations.

Farewell to my dear Uncle

I didn't know how ill my uncle was until it was too late, and I felt bad that I wasn't able to tell him Thank you for being the person he was with me and my family. People that come to your life give you a good impact in your life or they don't. My uncle gave a big important impact in my life or shall I say he was a my savior in my time of need. He was the only one the understood me and stood up for my belief even if it was against our family. He helped me voice my opinion concerning a difficult time in my life, because the people responsible in my life wanted my voice to diminish as if only their voices are the one's that counted and they knew what was best for me. 

My uncle wanted to hear my voice and what I wanted, and he really didn't need to do anything, because he had his own life and problems. He saw that I had a need for a father figure in my time of need he stepped up for the role.  I can never ever repay him for what he did to me and my life. He is always going to be in my heart and he is another Angel keeping my mom company in watching out for us.. 

Im thankful to God for have given me an amazing man in my life that I am proud to call my Uncle, while he was having a truly hard time in his life he always managed to continue moving and loving.. 

I'm just sorry I couldn't tell you that I love you and thank you so much that you gave me the strength to stand up for what I belief even if it is going against people of my own blood for my belief. 

I hope wherever my uncle is at he knows that I loved him very much and respected him and I've very appreciative for all the things he did for me, that I can never repay him for all that he did for me..

I hope tio that you have the peace that I know you so much needed. Love you Tio..