Enthusiasm

I feel there are so many good things awaiting for me, and I just have to open my arms wide. I am so grateful of the friends that I have acquired little by little they have been taking me out of my shell, and shown me how amazing of a person I am. As well, as they have shown me new ways to view life, I hope that I have helped them view a certain things differently. Thank you ladies for being the individuals that you are, because ladies you are amazing and have brought an immense happiness to my life. I just wanted to share that with my bloggers that I am so happy in the friends I have acquired through the years and months. I was this girl from Miami,Florida that didn't know if she could accomplish to make friends in this other state, because for 21 years of my life I lived around my family and I had very slim amount of friends, and it made it complicated when I moved to a strange state that I did not know anyone, and I didn't have the confidence to make friends as well. Throughout my years living here in TN I fell in love with this state and I began acquiring extraordinary friends, and they have made me see how wonderful a friendship could be. Thanks again to those amazing women in my life. Yes, you have a family you were born with but there is a family you create and it is so amazing.

Nostalgia

I went to a Memorial service to a lady that I met very briefly in my life, but I heard all the people that knew her longer and all the amazing things this lady brought into those people's life, and it took me back with my mom. Although, my mom didn't die as tragically as the lady that i went to her memorial service, but what this lady and my mom had in common is that they had amazing hearts for people and their souls were so precious. My mother was consumed little by little with all the pain she carried until she got really sick and in the long run she died. We tend not to demonstrate our feelings towards the people that we love, because we are too consumed with work or whatever is going on in our lives, and I am guilty of that, because I have people in my life that I love very dearly, but I rarely tell them how much I love them, although I am getting better at it. I still need to work on it. One second that person might be there and the next they will be gone. I must be all over the place with this blog, but I have so many feelings inside me that is hard to concentrate on one idea. I just would have liked to know my mother better, but I have the people in my life that knew her and tell me stories about her, and I love when I hear stories about her, because I am getting a pieces of that puzzle that were missing. What I want my followers to get out this blog is that take advantage of all the days, hours, seconds, seasons that you get to spend with the people you love and tell them how much you care about them, and all they mean to you. I love you Mom and I will always carry you in my heart.

Words do tend to affect us.

People say sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will not hurt me. I think that saying is so wrong, because words are more powerful than anything. Some people in my life taught me how to repress emotion, because showing emotions is a sign of weakness. When I was little it was my sperm donor and I call him that, because he didn't do anything positive in my life all the things I remember of that man were negative, that he stole a nice chunk of my childhood including his family. I have also had other important people in my life that when I was depressed and had suicidal thoughts their way of dealing with my depression is beating me up, and when I had a heart break and found out I was pregnant with my child at a young age those people called me drama queen, because I was dealing with a heartbreak, and little by little I started repressing my emotions, because I considered a sign of weakness. Now, I know better showing your emotions is a liberation of emotions, because we bottle our emotions inside we tend to become emotional and physically ill, and we become poison to ourselves. I have seen people that have so many years of repression and all of a sudden let it out, and all the negative energy comes out. When you have something to say, say it don't hold it in, because it will hurt you in the long run. Showing emotions it is not a sign of weakness it is a sign that we feel and show it.We hide those feelings in the mask that people want to see the smile, but really what does that person feel?

Question when guys say women are clingy.

Heard from so many guys, "oh, but she is too clingy." "Really why do you think she is clingy?" I would like a guy to give me a description of what they think is a clingy behavior? Is it that the woman you are with shows to much emotion, that you want her to show less? Or is it that the woman wants to make you happy and tries to bend over backwards to make you happy? I had a conversation with one of my good friends and we were talking about a person in my life that used that word referring to a girl he was in a relationship with. I know there are some women out there that are unstable, but we are talking about women that show their emotions and they want to show their significant other how much they love them. Sometimes, men make women feel that they are going crazy for showing all those emotions and how happy that person makes them feel, but they confuse it with clingness. So, should a guy devalue on the way the woman tries to show her affection by calling her clingy, or tell her thank you for loving me the way you do? I just would like to understand what men consider clingness in a woman.

Back from Another Road Trip

Well in this road trip, my older daughter decided to stay with her grandparents. It was great that she wanted to spend time with her grandparents, but at the same time I missed her, and my son also missed her no matter how much they fight with each other they are always thinking about each other. Jared was always telling us how much he missed sara, and sara called on the cellphone to talk to her siblings as well. That melted my heart when I see them interactive with each other with so much love. Well, we first went to Charlotte, North Carolina for one of my husband's business meetings and then the last place we went to was Huntsville, Alabama. I have to see the place was nice and the hotel room was nice as well. I am repeating again what I said in my last blog although I need to spend some alone time so I can get all my ideas together. I love my kiddos, but sometimes you need some alone time to think of ideas and among other things. You can really think when you have somebody constantly tell you,"Mommy are we there yet." That was the whole ride and the youngest one crying, because she always dropped something by the end of the ride to the hotel I wanted to pull every last hair of my head. Don't get me wrong most of the time they are great but they are not the best long road trip buddies. I love you Sara, Jared, and Angela. So, don't get me wrong kiddos mommy loves you.

Back from a trip with the family

We went to Atlanta with hubby and the kiddos. I love spending time with them, because I see them with their ideas running wild and innocent, and I get to live those experiences I never went through as a child. At the same time, I am realizing I am needing a much needed time to spend with myself, and I am thinking I should do a trip on my own to think of all the good things that has happened in my life as well as all the things I want to get rid off in my life. There are stuff in my life that don't work anymore or hasn't work for me in the past, and they avoid for me to keeping on progressing in my journey of life, because I am too much stuck in my past that I am letting the present get away from me. I had a fruitful weekend, because what I did during the weekend that make it fruitful. I will be going on another family trip tomorrow so I will keep you guys posted.

Emotional Day

I had a convo with somebody important in my life, and I felt like I needed it to help him, because I know he is in so much pain. It is an immense pain that it is unexplainable, you just want to quiet down that pain. The problem is the people around him don't know how to deal with him, because everybody thinks he is a problem. He needs so much love, because that pain is affecting him in every aspect of his life, and as well as some professional help. We live in a world where we don't realize this children that have no parents, and came from an abusive home all the damages that come from that. It creates so much damage to somebody, especially a little boy at age 3 seeing the person that he most loved in the world inside a casket, and thinking that she is sleeping, and she will wake up soon. Growing without the love of that special woman in your life that would love you no matter how many mistakes you make in your life, and always having her arms wide open to tell you to rest all your pain on her shoulder and share you pain and tell you that she still loves you no matter what. Sometimes we forget how valuable this women are in our lives, and we take them for granted, but we don't realize how that affects us when they are no longer here. While you might have differences with those ladies remember who they are, and why it is they are telling you those stuff, before it is too late. While I do understand the reasoning in my mother's death it doesn't make it easy, because while I understand her death she is missed by many of my siblings some admit it and others just repress it and hide it. It would have been great for her to be there and tell me that she will be there to support me no matter what, it would have been great for her to be there on the birth of her first grandchild, it would have been great to share on those first moments of her grandchildren, it would have been great for her to be there for my wedding and tell me that I did good in the man I picked as my lifetime companion and give me her blessing. I know she was there in spirit in all those events in my life, but it would have been better if she was there with me in all those moments, as well for my siblings.