Welcome to my new blog which will deal with my journey of my life. Yes, I am married to a remarkable man, and three amazing children. Sometimes I will be writing about them and sometimes just in how I feel. The beginning of my existence mold me to who I am, but the new experiences are changing some parts of those old molding which is great. I am realizing that I am wanting to keep those molds, and others I want to get rid of it, because they don't serve me one bit. I want to get rid of all the anger, resentment, hate, and all the negative feelings I have towards my past. I have to be happy in the person I turned out to be through out all the painful events that went on in my life, it is so normal to see how many people get suck on those negative feelings, and believe me I am not the exception, but it is just so draining and time consuming. I am having a new layout on my past while painful it might have been it made me a stronger person to face things head on. I wish I can inspire other women to be strong and face life and whatever it might bring. Be strong to say no more I am not a doormat, I am not your punishing bag, I am not your excuse to not seeking help, and I am not going to take it anymore. My mother took it for a long time, and it ended it up consuming her soul, because she just kept hidden her emotions so she wouldn't get her husband upset at her, but the resentment started building inside her that it was consuming her soul, and the end result she got ill. In some way, I was like my mom I kept stuff bottled up inside until I can not take any longer. It is sad the feeling of loneliness when you have so many people around you that love you, but you won't let them in, because you are afraid that they are going to hurt you, so you put this guard up. I understand that we need to be cautious in who we invite in our lives, but when are we being overprotective with ourselves, that we start shutting people down? Even when we don't start realizing what we are doing we can be very lonely people, because how are people going to know who we are if we don't let them in, and show that person how amazing we are. Relationships of any type are a gamble sometimes we win and sometimes we lose, but the fun thing about it is that we try to let people in better than not, and believe this advice I am also saying it for myself, because I have been like that for a long time. I always had the idea I will hurt them first before they hurt me, and that is illogical, because I was judging people for other people's mistakes, and that is not fair to judge other people for others mistakes. Welcome again to my Blog.
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