Pains of my life

I feel guilty at times on the way I feel, because there are people out there with so much more suffering and the make the best of what they got. I have some many things going in my life that is pushing back to my old ways, and that is not good at all, and I know Im the only one that can do something about it. I just don't have the strength right now. I just need to regroup. First, anniversary of the my mother-in-law being gone affecting so many people in my life in so many different ways, and as well is affecting me. I'm not saying by any means of the word that my mother-in-law and I didn't have our bumps in the road, but we always managed to get pass them. She was helpful with the kids and building traditions for the kids to keep and our family, but now that she is gone those things have gone out the wind it is so hard now being the main female to this family, because I am not by no means like my mother-in-law we had some stuff in common, but she was the organizer of everything or should I say the planner. We didn't appreciate the enthusiasm she had in making birthday cakes for the children and they realize that now, or when they kids had odd request of costumes that my mother-in-law made it possible. I believe there is one spot in my life that it has hit me hard. I have not touched my sewing machine or have the desire to touch it, because it reminds me on the times my mother in law want to lend me a hand in one of my patterns when I didn't understand something and I took that of grant. I have so many feelings going on. My parents health is not at their greatest and I know they are eventually going to be gone as well, but still Im not prepared for that and it freaks me out, and Im so far away from them. My oldest got out of a long dragging relationship that was dragging her down into a deep whole where I believe in a way she left a little bit of herself in that long relationship. She got into another relationship with a seemingly nice young man, but my kids are being raised with city mentality and we live in a very traditional state where if you don't conform to certain ways your an outsider or an undesirable. People judge you by your appearance or your beliefs, and not really get to know the person. This young man parents already had a preconceived notion of my daughter, so regardless of what she might be they already knew who exactly who she was. My daughter is loving, loyal, among other qualities and of course she is human she has her flaws, but what give other the right to judge an individual without even giving that person to show how they are. I feel for my daughter and I truly knows how valuable she is as a person and woman, and to never let anyone make her feel inferior, because she is far from that. This situations has left me stressed and worried for my children and my family overall. I have gained 40 pounds in this situation and it is another thing stressing me out, because of all the hard work I have put in my healthy path, but I have let all this kinda derail my path.